When I got the acceptance from Bosch to go to Stuttgart I was really happy in the first place, but the closer the day of leaving got, the more I had those feelings of insecurity. Somehow not wanting to leave the familiar to something unknown... After I came back for the first time (it was christmas break) it was even tougher. I really didn´t want to leave again already on first of january. This feeling was probably even harder because I knew that I´m one of the only ones who had to work already on 2nd and I knew that I won´t see my sister at least for half a year (she went to the US).
But then, it changed dramatically. I spent 3 monts in a row in Stuttgart and the next time I came back to Switzerland it was different. But the feelings of not wanting to leave were still there. But then on both sides. I somehow didn´t want to go back for a long weekend because I could miss something in Stuttgart and in the end of the weekend here I didn´t want to leave again because I´ll leave family and have to get back to work. Why was this? Was it because both places were somehow "home"? Or was it because neither of them was "home" (anymore)? I think for me it was because both places felt like home...
Now, since yesterday I have the same feeling again. I don´t want to go. But this time it´s different than the times I went to Stuttgart. Back then I knew it was the right thing to do, to leave. The feelings were just there because I didn´t know what I have to expect. Or because I was leaving family and friends here. But now, the reason is different. I know what to expect and I know that I don´t like it. That´s the reason for the same feelings. Today it´s not that I don´t want to leave HERE but I don´t want to be THERE! But anyhoo, it´s not a request programme. A man´s got to do, what a man´s got to do...
But then, it changed dramatically. I spent 3 monts in a row in Stuttgart and the next time I came back to Switzerland it was different. But the feelings of not wanting to leave were still there. But then on both sides. I somehow didn´t want to go back for a long weekend because I could miss something in Stuttgart and in the end of the weekend here I didn´t want to leave again because I´ll leave family and have to get back to work. Why was this? Was it because both places were somehow "home"? Or was it because neither of them was "home" (anymore)? I think for me it was because both places felt like home...
Now, since yesterday I have the same feeling again. I don´t want to go. But this time it´s different than the times I went to Stuttgart. Back then I knew it was the right thing to do, to leave. The feelings were just there because I didn´t know what I have to expect. Or because I was leaving family and friends here. But now, the reason is different. I know what to expect and I know that I don´t like it. That´s the reason for the same feelings. Today it´s not that I don´t want to leave HERE but I don´t want to be THERE! But anyhoo, it´s not a request programme. A man´s got to do, what a man´s got to do...
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