29 October 2007

Vocabulary

I´m not really inspired at the moment to write something in my blog. I therefore collected some expressions to help you enhance your vocabulary in the meantime. Today it´s about words you definitely have to know if you´re working in an office... :)

Beepilepsy - The brief seizure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.

Blamestorming - A group discussion of why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the top brass with clean hands.

Egosurfing - Scanning the Net, databases, etc., for one’s own name.

Glazing - Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open; a popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. “Didn’t he notice that by the second session half the room was glazing?”

GOOD job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.

Irritainment - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.

Salmon Day - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end.

Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything and then leaves.

Uninstalled - Euphemism for being fired. Also: decruitment.


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